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Breast obsession

So, what is it about breasts that makes North Americans SO obsessed with them as sexual objects? In the course of history many different parts of the female body have been fetishes for men, for example ankles, necks, and tiny feet (in China)... so WHY breast obsession in our age?

It seems to be linked to the fact that breasts are viewed very strongly as sexual body parts, and NOT seen as "baby feeders." In fact, at least some Americans are about to forget their natural function!

nursing a new born
Nursing a newborn.

In the fall of 1993, one of the undergraduate students in my 'Women and Culture' course was totally flabbergasted to discover that the biological function of women's breasts was for feeding children. With obvious shock and disgust evident in her voice she asked, 'You mean women's breasts are like a cow's udder?' That a young woman could reach college without ever having even heard of women using their breasts to feed their children is a sad commentary on American culture.
Katherine Dettwyler as quoted in The Breastfeeding Action Committee of Edmonton (BACE) report about Breastfeeding at Municipal Pools in Canada

If we can see breasts as the WONDERFUL means God created to feed and comfort babies, then the obsessions about them can disappear; men don't have to think that breast appearance somehow counts the most, and women don't have to obsessively worry about the size and shape of their breasts.

What about women who do not want to or cannot have children? How should they view their breasts?

Their breasts, as all women's, are essentially a "signal" or a reminder of how babies are fed. They are still like a "banner" that shows us what food babies get. Even if you are not going to ever breastfeed and use your breasts for that purpose, you can still appreciate the function of breasts, the wonders in breast milk, the efficient mechanism of how it all works (if you study a bit about it), and so on.

This obsession HURTS women and men in various ways that are not always obvious. For example: MEN become easy targets for pornographic advertisements that use breasts as the main enticement or keyword. Or, a woman may need to go braless for her breast health's sake, which then results in men ogling over her, making comments, and considering her only on a sexual level (see comment by Chris below).


I feel strongly that this breast obsession is a problem in the country I live in, the U.S. Please note that I am not talking about all men in what I'm saying below.

I am tired of the over-the-top responses I get from some men towards my breasts. I mean, it just gets ridiculous. Women are more than a pair of breasts, aren't they? What about my mind, my spirit? The breast obession that some men have make relationships between men and women very difficult.

Also, the idea of going brafree, a very healthy choice in many cases, is mentioned on this website and made all the more difficult because of this breast obession. I personally don't like to wear bras. I find them constricting and uncomfortable, even "properly fitting" ones. Also, my severe breast pain stopped when I stopped wearing bras. So, I choose not to wear them, and I have every right not to wear them. But, in the culture I live in, women are expected to wear them. And if I don't, then it's "my fault" if I'm ogled, stared down, commented upon, all because of this breast obsession. I'm suddenly, "fair game" for this type of treatment. These types of attitudes are insenstive to women and completely unfair. It turns men into an enemy in public, who won't allow me my right to live my life in peace, without having my boundaries violated as I go about my business. Yes, I can speak up and tell them to leave me alone, stop staring, all of which I have done. But why should I have to do this repeatedly? Why should women have to constantly deal with these intrusions from men? This breast taboo translates into breast disrespect and disrespect of women.

I don't feel like having men I don't know relate to me only on a sexual level, just because I have breasts and just because I don't want to wear a bra. My not wearing a bra is not intended to be sexually inticing to men. Like I said, it's about comfort and health for me. But the way many men interpret it sexually, without regard to any of my feelings or reasons, makes me very uncomfortable.

So, this is just one example of how Western attitudes towards breasts hurt women emotionally and also negatively affects relationships between men and women, thereby hurting men also. I'm convinced that if this obsession with breasts didn't exist, things would be so much easier for most women and men and women would have better relationships with each other.

Chris

But why does the American society view breasts primarily as sexual objects and not as baby feeders? Carolyn Latteier voiced it out this way:

"Well, I think it has partly to do with the fact that we don't breastfeed very much. I mean, breastfeeding rates have improved, but most women don't breastfeed very much or very long or in public. So when we see a breast, we don't say, "Oh there are those magical milk-making things."
Carolyn Latteier in Berman & Berman's TV program "All about breasts"

Let's see how that might come about.

Bottle feeding story

Baby is fed from the bottle, so he doesn't get to know Mom's breast as a food source and as the best pacifier. Also, if Mom never undresses or uncovers her bosom in front of her child, the child never gets to see breasts. Parents, society, TV, and media show breasts to be something forbidden, something to be covered, yet exciting and sexual, preferably large and upright, and the child easily ends up believing that way, as well.

But what if the baby is breastfed?, you might say. After all, most women do breastfeed their babies at least in the hospital. But they don't do it for very long! Let's imagine what happens in the weaning process.


Weaning story

Baby is breast fed in the beginning. But, maybe Mom has problems with breastfeeding, can't find help, and has to start supplementing with a bottle. This reduces her milk supply, and soon the baby is weaned. Or maybe Mom goes to work at six weeks and weans the baby completely at this point (she could have continued nursing in the evening and morning!).

I LOVE MAMA'S BREAST!

DON'T TAKE IT
AWAY FROM ME!

But for whatever reason, Mom weans the baby early on. But just because Mom quits nursing doesn't mean the baby wants to! The attachment and love for Mommy's breasts don't go away just like that. The baby loses its best source of food, yes, but it also loses one of its sources of comfort and security.

The babe is probably feeling along the lines, "Hey, don't take those away from me! Those soft sponges belong to me! You can't do that! Hey, nobody here cares about my feelings! PLEASE Mommy....."

This kind of early and forced weaning can hurt the baby emotionally. Deep inside the baby retains the feeling of wanting the breast. The baby still likes Mommy's breasts. He/she is still interested in Mommy's bosom and wants to touch it, cuddle the breast, feel close — and get the yummy milk (breast milk tastes quite sweet, sweeter than formula).

You can see this when weaned toddlers and babies are still interested in breasts and want to touch them. Unfortunately, many times the mother feels uneasy about it and maybe thinks it is "indecent" or "perverted" behavior. The father may feel the same and fear that his child (especially his son) is going to grow up to be "some kind of pervert." But that is not true! Little children don't think sexual things!

Then the mother tries to get her child to stop this "nipple twiddling" and breast cuddling. The child is probably taught that touching naked breasts is BAD, it is a "NO-NO". Now, if the mother never lets her children see bare breasts, it is no wonder that the child develops a curiosity towards breasts. The child stars thinking, "What is it about them? Wonder what they look like? Why do they keep them hidden?"

While the child is growing up, everything around her touts that breasts are forbidden, a taboo. We know that taboos just encourage curiosity. On top of that, the media presents breasts not only as forbidden but something exciting and sexual, which starts arousing sexual feelings especially in boys. Girls at least get to see their own breasts and often times Mom's too, which lessens this curiosity/excitement factor.

So, what started as innocent curiosity and love towards Mommy's breasts can be turned into sexual feelings in boys, whereas young girls start (often obsessively) worrying about the sexual attractiveness of their breasts. They worry about their breast size and shape, nipple size and shape, stretch marks, sagginess — about every aspect of their breasts, and quite often start wishing for breast implants, assuming that breasts need to be big to be attractive.

It all starts when you take the breast away from the child AND then make seeing breasts a forbidden no-no for the rest of the child's growing period. The end result is a distorted view of female breasts.



When breasts are not considered a taboo, the obsessions towards them disappear. This is a Zulu woman from South Africa.
Photo credit: Pe_Wu. Licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

A weaned child still interested in breasts?

So what should you do if your already weaned child wants to touch mom's breasts and is very curious about them? Here's what to do: explain in the child's level of understanding what those pieces of flesh are for. Explain to him/her: "These are the milk bottles you drank from as a tiny baby. They are called breasts." Or, "These are like milk bottles. Milk comes out of them when babies suckle and they're called breasts." Show the child a few photos of nursing (from the Internet, for example). Give him/her a biology lesson (on her terms)!

PLEASE MOMMY... 

GIVE ME SOME MILK!

The WORST thing to do is to make a big fuss, to declare breasts a no-no and something totally forbidden (taboo). It's simple enough to tell the child what they are, and do so in a no-nonsense style, just sort of "no big deal", normal type of thing. That should satisfy the child's curiosity.

After a while, such curiosity will probably pass and something else will take its place... just don't make it any big deal. But IF the child keeps wanting to touch and cuddle for a long time, you can explain that "These are the milk bottles but they are my body parts and you don't have to touch me here all the time." You can offer a reason such as "...the nipple is so sensitive." But first make sure you've given the explanations.


So are breasts sexual?

This is a question that cannot be answered in a short space. Breasts are part of the "whole package" that makes a woman. They aren't sexual in the sense that merely looking at them in some everyday context (such as BREASTFEEDING) shouldn't make men instantly think about sex! Yet they are sexual in the sense that they are a female body part, and the whole female is sexually attractive to men.

We are not saying that men can't appreciate and admire women's breasts (as feminine and beautiful body parts), or that a man and a woman can't enjoy touching each other's bodies during their intimate relationship. We are saying breasts are not supposed to be an immediate "turn-on," or in other words a special obsession point for men.

beliefs about breasts

The advertisements and media images play to the idea that men are supposed to be "all ready" the instant they get a flash of a breast. That, we feel, is UNHEALTHY! However, breasts are a part of our femininity as women, and men can be, and ARE drawn to the whole female. It is indeed the whole woman, the entire feminine being who kindles and fans the flame of sexual desire for men.

On this website we aim to fight back against this sad trend where breasts are "elevated" into objects of automatic "turn-on" for men. Keep in mind, though, that this is NOT men's fault, because they have been culturally conditioned to see breasts that way.

So let breasts be like legs, hips, neck, face, and all the other body parts of a female—part of the whole female (and it's the whole that is sexually attractive to men). Breasts tie in with maternity: they signal that the woman is mature, capable of bearing and nursing children. They also REMIND us of their precious life-giving part in child-rearing. Perhaps YOU yourself were once nourished by those magnificent organs!

Some people mention to us Song of Solomon, which mentions breasts in a sexual context. People say that proves breasts are supposed to be "sexual." Keep in mind Song of Solomon CLEARLY places breasts on the same level as other body parts, such as the teeth, neck, and hair. Think of breasts both as "ornaments" (pretty) and as "magnificent" (because of their function—the process of milk production and breastfeeding is QUITE intricate). Song of Solomon definitely gives the picture of the WHOLE FEMALE as being attractive... (including breasts) but it does not in any way show breasts as some focal "ogle" point.


Vicious cycle

The LESS women breastfeed, the LESS people get to see the real purpose of breasts. At the same time media everywhere touts the view of female breasts as sexual. That in turn makes it harder for women to breastfeed, since many of the reasons for not breastfeeding are linked to the sexualization of breasts.

So the less women breastfeed, the harder it becomes for women to breastfeed. We have a cycle that self-promotes the view that the main purpose of female breasts is for something else than feeding babies!

The cure?

  1. First, let children be breastfed.
  2. Let older children and teenagers see breastfeeding moms and their babies.
  3. Let children and young people learn about breasts and breastfeeding. Let them see breasts used for their purpose.
  4. Don't make it a taboo, a forbidden no-no.

 



Visitor comments

Leave your comment

After looking through your website I was in ecstasy! I feel like I am finally escaping the great American breast brainwashing. Since age 13 when I first was exposed to pornography I have been totally obsessed with breasts, the bigger, the better. My mother never nursed me even once as her doctor advised her to give me formula. Your website helped me as a male viewer to see the female breast as a natural part of the female body and not as some mystical sex object. My whole attitude toward women has changed as a result. All humans are naturally beautiful, created in the image of God. But the greatest beauty is the beauty inside. If two people can love each other then the externals are not nearly as important as what is in our souls and how we relate in love to each other.

Steve

As a guy, I have many pre-conceived images of what kinds of breasts are considered attractive (both sexually and visually) through various media channels.

I have been searching for a website that is both educational and respectful in its approach towards female bodies and I'm glad I have found it in yours.

Your home page's message and real life pictures of normal female breasts in your website's picture galleries has helped me greatly; by guiding my mind NOT to think of breasts as some kind of trigger to think about having sex or entertain any sexual fantasies.

I personally hope your website would not only help women of all ages to be more reasonably self-assured about their own body images, but would also serve as a educational platform for men from all walks of life to learn to seriously respect any female they see instead of viewing their bodies (particularly breasts) as mere objects or tools which trigger or help sustain sexual urges and satisfaction.

This website and its galleries can be part of the fight against porn, as long as the overall direction and tone of its messages are kept educational, conciliatory and non-judgmental.

To all the ladies out there, regardless of age and race, you are beautiful the way you are. Breast implants are not a true reflection of what females are endowed with naturally.

To all the men out there (especially those seeking to help themselves overcome lust and sexual addiction), let's work together to love and respect the females we see and interact with based on who they really are inside (their values and attitudes towards love and life) than treating their bodies as mere objects or tools to satisy us men.

Geo

I came across your site by accident because I just implemented a new safe search engine on my web site and typed breasts in it to see what results I would get. I was very interested in the comments and views here. As a man I have fallen prey to the media and have become obsessed with women's breasts. I was never breast fed and believe the first time I ever saw a breast was in pornographic magazine. I believe these experience rewired my brain and the media has only increased this faulty thinking. When having my son I was very involved in helping his mom breastfeed, from actually holding him to her breasts after his birth because she was too tired to helping pump with our manual breast pump. Unfortunately as a divorced single dad I am still struggling with this obssession. I utilize my bounce technique as often as possible in which my eyes will start to look at a women and then I imediately catch myself and look in the opposite direction. But it is still a battle. Do have any other suggestions on how to wean a 32 year old man from the breast? Thank you for your work.

The problem you experience is unfortunate, and unfortunately has been caused by the way the society teaches us to view breasts. To rectify it is not easy, but IS certainly possible!

The main solution has to do with rewiring the brain and getting rid of the association "breasts = sex" that has become so automatic.

Remember Pavlov's dogs? They trained the dogs to expect food whenever a bell rang. The media and pornography train men's brains to start arousal at the SIGHT of a female breast.

Consider breasts being on the same "level" as other female body parts, such as hands, lips, hair, face, legs, and so on. Then, seeing breasts alone won't be especially exciting. In other words, female breasts should just be "part of the package" of the female form, but not a special sexual object when viewed alone and in themselves.

One of the best ways to do this is to visit a topless beach where all the people - men and women - are at ease, and the atmosphere is totally non-sexual. There will be breasts all around you, and when you see them a lot (IN A NON-SEXUAL SETTING), they become very usual, nothing special — and even boring!

We have received reports on how this truly works. So, if economics allow, consider vacationing in the Caribbean. Still pictures can help some too; however, the live situation is better because you will EXPERIENCE how the women are just going about their normal things, and it is not sexually provocative.


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The following comments are from various visitors to www.007b.com, and may or may not agree with the viewpoints presented on this website. The comments are posted here because they might further help and encourage men and women who visit this website; however 007 Breasts is not responsible for this content or any loss/damage caused by reading these.

I'm a 37 year old man who found your site looking for info about my 10-year old daughter's development. This site is extremely informative. I understand how women mature, but I was looking for info on how to help ease her through the emotional side of it without being an inconsiderate male. My wife can confirm I'm not the the best at the "feelings" side of anything.

This site seems to help a lot of young girls to see they are totally normal. Besides who's to say what is normal? I am very glad you tell them that they don't need big breasts to be beautiful and feminine. The only [thing] I would say is that some women think men only want big breasts. But that is not true — men love all breasts, big and small and everything in between. I just hope I can get through to my daughter that she is beautiful, not her "parts". Thanks for the help and keep up the good work.

Wil A.


I've always felt unconfotable sharing my odd relationship with female breasts. I always feel like if I tell someone my thoughts and experiences, they'll see me as a perv or making exuses.

My brother and I were nursed 100% until Mom went dry. I knew them for producing milk. My brother and I were exceptional in school, although I've fallen victim to epilepsy.

When in the first grade I found myself in the women's locker room because the babysitter didn't want me running off. I didn't care about all those breasts, all women had them, right? I was more afraid of the women seeing me! I went to a trailer park pool often, and my friends were mostly undeveloped. I was confused why they and the other older girls wore torso-length or two-piece swimsuits. Once on a rural road, a friend "stole" a girl's shirt, she was about 15. She made an ear-piercing-scream and ran after him, and I thought she was crazy. That year I had an absence seizure while mom was talking to me and changing bras. When I came to, she had covered her chest and was saying in a panicked and disguised tone, "Stop staring at my breasts!" I felt confused and mortified, and she never took off her shirt near me again. It wasn't until I started looking at adult material around 11 y/o (in the dial-up era) and kept getting breasts shoved in my face, that I put everything together. How ignorant. Yet it didn't make sense to me.

I never changed like everybody else. The women of today haven't helped themselves, always 'flashing' and doing provactive poses covering their breasts. And it's sad how they're, according to the TV, "extremely graphic", "disturbing", "nudity" and carry a big black bar. What are we teaching our children? In my mom's family this wasn't an issue. In fact, my great grandma started a topless rowing team in the 50's! The otherwise conservative family has no qualms about the topless European women archoring their boats and playing on our private beaches or coming up to say hi.

Thank you for trying to make women accept their bodies and show what NORMAL women look like. As a guy, a girl's insecurity about her breasts is one of the most irritating things, what matters is the entire woman.

nt


This website is truly awesome and educational! :) I'm using it as an educational source and forwarding it to everyone I know. Also, to men obsessed with boobs because of American hangups, La Leche League meetings (well, I mean going with a wife or sister) are good normal exposure to lots of people acting normally about breasts.

Andrea Clingaman


Interesting website. Here in Australia breasts appear to be subject to a similar taboo as North America but women are encouraged to breastfeed, including in public. When my daughter was born I suffered bruises, scrapes and lots of pain. This can be caused by incorrect latching on, but my midwife assured me she was feeding correctly and my skin is just much more sensitive/weak than normal. My mother and grandmother both attended hospital or breastfeeding clinic, but were unable to breastfeed any of their children.

I'm now pregnant and trying not to put any pressure on myself about breastfeeding. My step sisters keep facebooking about it, and sites like this are militant about finding ways to make it work, and this is good.

I suppose I will probably do what I did last time and express milk, then feed from a bottle. People looked at me disapprovingly to see my baby being fed from a bottle, but they don't know how hard it was for me to find that I couldn't breastfeed.

If you are a mother able to breastfeed, just try it. It's easy, doesn't curdle in their stomach, won't cause allergic reaction, doesn't need expensive equipment, or complicated sterilisation technique. And it's great for helping them sleep.

But don't be mad at me! I'm trying to do the right thing too.

Sunshine


Wow. I've always felt really insecure about my body, especially when I was just hitting puberty and my breasts grew to C-cups seemingly overnight. Being a shy 12-year old and the annoying middle school boys snickering behind your back really made me hate my body and wish I was flat-chested like the other girls my age. Now I'm older and less insecure, but I've always felt the need to conform to society's expectations on how a woman's breasts should look, and felt ugly and abnormal when my breasts (one half a cup size larger than the other) in reality did not meet those expectations.

Anyway, this site, especially the photos of what real, non-sexualized breast look like make me feel like I'm not ugly or deformed, but just a normal 18-year-old girl who should feel beautiful just like the women on this website. Thank you!

Adelae


I'm so grateful to have found this website. I found it through a picture on Facebook and I've never been so relieved in my life. My boobs came through at about 9 and they haven't stopped growing since I am now 17. I am now a 34H (UK sizing) and I always looked at my boobs as these horrible saggy things on my chest. Along with my small frame and only being 4 ft 9", I just look completely out of proportion, but it's reassuring to know that there is at least one thing that is normal about me ;)

Georgia B-S


As a man, I think much of the male obsession with breasts relates to the development of breasts at puberty. A male growing up has always had his penis, so we know no different. Whereas a woman's breast don't [grow] until puberty, and become very obvious to all. That not only is a change that women have to adapt to, but is a mystical unknown to men, that can lead to an obsession.

wallen


I want to start off by saying how grateful I am for this site. I am a 21-year old female that is disappointed in the culture that surrounds me. I often visit different sites that show everyday women and their bodies and love your site and what it is doing. It is great for men and women of all ages. So many women struggle with their bodies and thinking they are not good enough, not realizing their breasts are perfect the way they are, and I think your site is accomplishing so much by allowing women to become comfortable with their breasts.

I am tired of American culture acting as if breasts are shameful, and yet at the same time irresistible to men. Women are not objects and should not be so sexualized. Thank you so much for creating this site, for I truly believe it is doing so much good. It makes me feel so happy to know others feel the same about the female body. Keep up the good work!

AA


As a 17-year old girl going through severe insecurity about my body, I was so relieved to find this website. I am a AA cup bra and I've grown up on the idea set out by the media and my male peers that a woman must be a B cup or larger to be considered "sexy" and that my flat chest made me not fully a "woman". I was teased in 8th grade about my chest size and ever since have resented my body.

A week ago I was seriously considering implants the day of my 18th bday, but now that I have found this site I may reconsider. It's nice to finally find a site where breasts aren't sexualized as they are all over media.

Hannah


Hey thanks heaps for having this web site. I really admire your courage in setting this web site up to assist with helping others to clear up subjects that seemingly have muddy waters or shame attatched to it.

I think the world needs more confrontations in these areas.

I'm a 28-year old male living in Australia, and I've been doing some self reflection into why I feel sexual about certain parts of the female body and not others, you know like the elbow for instance. Now I'm wanting to feel into the personality more and more, and it's much more joyful.

Having said that, currently there is still sometimes the desire to have a sexual reaction to the sight of breasts, and as I felt into the reasons why, I began to feel into my history as a child and how I was treated. See, many men use sexual feelings as a cover often for how sad they feel on the inside through the absence or lack of love in their early childhood environmets (obviously to do with mum since it relates to the opposite sex), and from my own experience use it as a bit of an emotional addiction to cover over the grief we feel of being under-nurtured by our mothers. I know this might seem a bit taboo to mention something like unloving and mother in the same sentence, but in my situation this is definitely the case. By the way, I'm not judging mothers here. I'm simply stating the truth of my relationship growing up. And to me it makes sense that what I desperately seek for in my adult life is simply due to that same thing (nurturing) being non-existent in my environment as I grew up.

The sooner we reflect more on our urges, the quicker we can realise our addictions and release them.

Not to say that all emotional injuries come from undernurturing; also on the other end of the scale there can be overnurturing.

So anyway, when I feel sexual responses towards specific anatomy, there is certainly always an erroneous reason as to why. As you correctly stated at the top of this page, in a perfect human condition you would love one another as a package where the majority in fact would be the personality, because when you think about it, soulmates don't discover one another because of a certain types of anatomy. It has all to do with feelings involved in connecting to each others personality.

Sorry if I went a bit sidetracked I guess you catch my drift.

Anyway thanks again.
cheers tim


Excellent initiative — I have bookmarked this and will refer any friends that may be having breast issues to it. I had my own issues as a young woman — the usual "why aren't my breasts perkier and why are my nippples so big" one that many others have had. Now at 62 I am great friends with my 34E breasts — after breastfeeding 4 children they are still fine. I started out as a 34B as a teen, but got a bit more after each baby — not only on the breasts;-) Please keep up the good work — this site is such a wonderful eye-opener!

Alice


Having grown up in the conservative South, all nakedness and nudity was considered shameful. While I was breastfed along with many siblings, it was done in a secluded area from a nursing bra and never a naked breast. It is almost impossible to view a breast in our 12/26/12 modern culture that is not in a sexualized form. There are naked breasts in movies and the internet and even TV (cable but when was the last time it was a baby being fed that was shown?). I personally have been uncomfortable about breasts as a man my whole life, because I feel like I am staring. I am naturally curious and interested, but still see the over-sexed images that crowd our culture. I wish women were more open about breast feeding and we could change that so women felt more respected. I think if skin and breasts and being naked were more common, instead of what I was taught, that we would not need to seek the available versions to experience them. Your site is the first non-sexual site I have ever seen, and I was curious, as my girlfriend has J size cups and I didn't even know what that meant. I am glad to see what normal women look like and how pregnancy and menstrual cycles affect the important women in our lives. Thanks for providing positive information and breaking taboos, and thanks for being brave enough to share ladies even with insecurities. I have a third nipple myself in the middle of my chest and a fused extra rib that is obvious and protrudes (we are just perfectly us) ...Jreed


I am a man in my mid 50's and found this site by accident. First, women worry too much over their breast size and shape. Ladies out there, breasts are beautiful and don't be too hard on yourselves. You do not know what men worry about, but I think you know. Take care of your body and let the worries go. I know there is a match as in man and woman for everyone. I hope this mail will help, thank GOD for woman's breasts, the world is a better place. Jerry........


Breast size is not an issue with me. I prefer small to no breasts on a woman. It is her personality that is the important thing.

jeremy


YOUR WEBSITE WAS VERY HELPFUL TO ME. I THOUGHT MY BOOBS WERE NOT NORMAL BUT NOW I CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF. THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND GOD BLESS. johanna


A woman who is ashamed of her breasts should not be. They are hers and nobody can say that they are the wrong size. Spend time in Spain, and you will see.

jermey


Wow, upon reading this I am SO happy I live in Europe! Where it's fine to show naked human bodies on national television, also at daytime, because a body is just a body and not primarily a sexual object. If they're going to show a dressing room, you're going to be seeing breasts, buttcracks and the occasional glimpse of pubic hair. It shocks nobody and therefore I think makes people a lot less self-conscious about their bodies and sex.

However, about breast shape and size there of course still is a lot of insecurity. Even if breastfeeding in public is normal and butts on television are okay, we would all still prefer looking like the young perky actresses in those movies over the baggy breasts we have. Well, I do anyway.
So thank you for this website! It helps a lot of people.

Lara


I'm starting to feel ashamed about how I've begun to view breasts since, probably since the very beginning of my adolescence. I'm 18 right now and though I do know that the main purpose of breasts is for nursing, I'm still stuck with the conception that breasts are also a sexual object, something erotic. I'm beginning to wonder why breasts have to be surrounded in taboo, and why does the media have to make them out to be a sexual object? Honestly I'm a little irritated now.

I don't know if my feelings will ever change, I'd prefer not to be stuck with an eternal 'fetish' for breasts. I don't know how my mom treated breastfeeding with me, I don't ask, I probably never will, as it seems like sex all together is kept on the hush-hush and on a down low. As I think about it, sure in some ways, we (The US) are more advanced than some other countries, but when it really gets down to things, we are just a bunch of perverted and sex crazed society. Not to say everyone has blended in, but just that things are just so ridiculous...

Alex


HEY! This website has been MOST important to my understanding of breast and children's OBSESSION with "boobies." I fully endorse your message! so important.

an admirer


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I love your website! I've never had the problem of being obsessed, but because breasts have been so sexualized and are considered taboo, I've always felt uncomfortable with being topless around others and others being topless around me. Hearing this new and fresh opinion has allowed me to rethink my views on breasts.

Joanna Muja


Oh! I loved this whole website. The way you all have written is marvellous! I mean it completely changed my point of view... my way of thinking. I used to be one of those immature and ignorant people that viewed breasts as a taboo. Like a something that's to be hidden (under a bra) all the time and if not, the girl is perverted, bad, characterless, etc. She wants attention, etc. But not anymore. I've grown much mature and understanding within the past 1 hour I spent on your website. I bet, every male human being that reads these articles, will become less perverted and his point of view will change too. And that's something that made me favorite your website! Good job! Keep it up! :) <3

ABC


As a liberal person, I definitely agree with what you have written here, but I also would like to add that this should apply to the human body as a whole. The media is so much sexualizing these things. They are just parts of the body. As a man, I tend to judge women based on how they carry themselves. Their assertiveness to what they want, their attitude, a little about their confidence, but mostly how true they are to themselves. Size doesn't matter. The whole does.

Scarlet


I breast fed both of my children in the 80's in California. One of my best experiences was as I was breast feeding in a restaurant. I would put a blanket over my shoulder to cover the baby and myself. Modesty was expected. I had an older woman come up to the table. She expressed her enjoyment at seeing a your woman breastfeeding. She asked if she could peek at the baby. I lifted the blanket. She reached down and ran her finger across my sons face while I was breastfeeding. It was the most natural response and there was no awkwardness. I was so encouraged by that lady's reactions.

Dawn


Every once in a long while you happen to bump into an organisation or an event that makes you think: "I wish I could claim to have been the origin of this!" Stumbling onto gotopless.org gave me that exact feeling! However, the mere existence of the need for such an organisation (and there must be a need, or it wouldn't have existed in the first place) and the attention it stirs up, above all in media, is evidence of the sad attitude towards the fact that roughly half the population of Homo Sapiens have been blessed with two of the most beautiful and wonderful attributes known to us that exists in so many cultures around the globe!

Why are so many individuals in those societies so terrified of the mere sight of these attributes that they forsake no opportunity to attempt to hide them, or, even photographic or artistic representations of them?

I don't think that anybody would seriously claim the Jerry Springer Show to be a family show, but nonetheless, the viewers must be "protected" from the, apparently, lethal effects of bare nipples and/or breasts by fuzzing them out! Admittedly, I was never part of the American society, and, therefore never influenced by its values and prejudiced views upon fully or partly exposed body parts. Consequently, I do not understand the danger in having caught sight of one of nature's wonders. So, I wake up every morning in deep gratitude for not having to endure the pain of living in such a devastating terror it must be to constantly be tormented by the risk of being targeted by a bared nipple, every second of the day! I used to be an active nudist/naturist in my younger years, and I remember clearly the discussions we used to have about how far we should venture into the concept of public nudity. Should we work towards a legislation that allowed public nudity whenever the temperatuere and climate allowed it, or should we restrict ourselves to beaches and camping sites and other similar places? We never reached a conclusion. Maybe the discussions are still going on?

Bengt Grahn


Your site has been a blessing so many women, even the men. Please keep on the good work. Thank you.

ThankGod Ali


I was never breastfed as a child and breasts obsession was not a huge issue for me. My wife, whom I dated beginning when she was 16, was a size 36D. While I loved her figure, her breasts size was not the first thing I noticed about her. It was her long red hair. I do think that both men and women tend to go overboard with the breast issue. Young women enjoy flaunting their breasts but hate being noticed by men when doing so.

Mike


Just dropping in: All girls who are depicted on this website, enjoy your small, wellformed, formkeeping, breasts - also no hindrance in this or that movement. And attractive. Please !! forget implants !!

Now I am a 74-year old European, used to sauna and nude beaches: Well, small is beautiful.

Decades ago we here also were breast-crazy. Late mediaeval and renaissance statues and paintings showed a breastfeeding Mary - nobody bothered. Then the big taboo came - strange enough. Neverrrrr in the world see or let see nipples - or heavens will fall down and mountains will crash and oceans will flood the land - or maybe you get blindfolded. The sight simply will disturb the healthy development of the youth - as authorities, officials, magistartes and judges told us. Strange enough, this did not count for pictures from the African Mission field. As teens we were guided to Pater Gusindes slide shows; Protestant missionaries Ernst Kotz's illustrated book was on our bookshelf.

Make an end of the mammary madness! Enjoy your female distinction!

philoalexandrinus


My son naturally weaned, but whenever he sees his sister breastfeeding, he tries to push her off and get some. It's hilarious, I don't feel odd, I just tell him that he drank this once, but now it's his sister's milk. I'm very open to my kids about breasts and what they are for, so whenever I do get them out to feed, my son goes, "Little sister, drink milk" (in Indonesian though) and points.

Cheri


All of this, and much much more, is in my book 'Breastfeeding Older Children', Free Association Books, 2010. Though it has some theoretical chapters, there are chapters on most aspects of breastfeeding older children, plus statements from mothers, fathers, and children throughout. Feedback has been wonderful! It's in many local, national and academic libraries around the world, so if you can't find it/buy it, get your local library to stock it and provide a free resource for parents!

Ann Sinnott


Hi, I am a 14 year old little girl. I started getting my breasts about a year ago and this site has helped me realize my breasts are perfect and beauty I am a blossoming young woman.

jayne


Thank you so much for this website! I stumbled across it after feeling completely inadequate. I sometimes can't help but compare myself to what society has perceived as the "perfect breasts", which mine are far from. I've gone from a 32a to a 40D ever since I got pregnant with my first child. I've proudly breastfed all 3 of my babies, and they are happy and healthy, and I would like to feel proud of myself (and my breasts) for it. This website has certainly helped!!! Thank you again.

Kristina


I just stumbled onto your site and was very impressed! It is very well presented, and educational, but I would like to mention a few things. MOST men are probably naturally attracted to a woman's breasts because of instinct, and being breast fed as a baby. It's one of the first things that are put in your face, it is warm and soft, it's has nourishment, and it is comforting. These are all the things that make a baby feel good. So I think as we grow to become men, that still holds true, even though they are not used for nourishment (most of the time) anymore. A woman's breasts are still are warm and comforting, and men generally still love touching them, and yes it is exciting too. This is nothing to be ashamed of, and a woman shouldn't think that men just attracted to her because of her breasts. The thing is, although men are visual creatures, it's the total package that counts, mind and body.

Sean


As a professional videographer who has many plastic surgeons as clients I have viewed countless "before and after" photos of women who have had breast enhancement surgery. It's a wonderful option for the right woman at the right time with the right surgeon at the right price. The price could be merely money but could also be death or stroke — something to think about. I've often thought when viewing these before and after shots, "Why? Why did she do that to her beautiful, natural breasts?"

Is it possible that size is important only in attracting men from afar? They are attracted to the big breasts initially I think at a base level, because the male instinct tells the guy this is a good female to mate with; she will be able to feed her young; it's somewhat of an animal thing. That may have been really good eons ago when it was so important to multiply and prosper as a species, but isn't really a very good way attracting suitable mates these days.

So you're a young woman and you think bigger breasts will be better for many reasons. If it's to attract a mate, you might miss "Mr. Right". Let's say your new bigger, fuller look gets you more dates. With whom? What if the guy is only in love with your breasts? One day he will dump them for another set. Once he gets over his love affair with your breasts, all that's left is you. Are YOU enough? What if your "Mr. Right" is turned off by fake looking balloon shaped Barbie breasts? He may not even approach you.

How sad it is that a young woman would spend any energy or resources trying to change her body to please a man who likely is not worthy of her. When does it end?

I'm a 58-year-old man who has been around the block. It's the woman who makes the woman. Good things come in small packages. It would be interesting to learn how many men are turned off by surgically enhanced breasts. Again, the right procedure for the right woman with the right surgeon is a choice each woman must make. I agree that we men in the U.S. are obsessed with female breasts possibly because they are hidden from us. It's clear to me that it's a cultural phenomenon.

Be well ladies. You're beautiful as you are, before or after.
Ricky G., Oceanside, California


What a blessing this website is. All my worries and preconceptions about breastfeeding, nipple size, sagging breast etc. are gone forever. I love what I have been given by God and thankyou thankyou so much for all the helpful information.

amy


My wife breast fed both of our daughters. Now that the older one is 12 and developing this was a great site to help her. We have always told both our girls the media sells everything with sex and to be confident in themselves, no matter what they look like. She can see a great example of how Mom and Dad are not stupid, maybe they might know what they are talking about. I think, and certainly hope, this site will help many young women develop the self confidence in themselves. It might even help change a few minds of the male persuasion.

Todd


I live in North America and sincerely agree with the fact that things have to change in North America to allow females the liberty to be natural and comfortable like other parts of the world. Equally, it is imperative that females stop using their body parts as tools, because once you create the market, it will exist. The problem is largely created by the women themselves, and not only the doctors and the media. I was raised in a third world country where half of the girls I grew up with did not wear bras or even cover their breast until age 18. We had no interest in even looking at their breast at all or even admiring them. We saw the beauty of a woman without necessarily looking at the breast.

When I got to North America, the mentality around here is really weird. Ninety percent of the girls use their breast as tools to obtain favors and services from men they feel they can not have otherwise. Like police tickets, grades in schools, porn, money, promotion, etc. Why should a female dress completely well and leave half her breast out? It provokes the curiosity of the beholder. All females know there are bras that allow them to show their breast, even if they have tiny breast, to allow them attract men. Females should advocate the natural dignity of all women, I strongly support it.
Thanks
Baz


Hello,

It's hard to swallow everything at once after reading tons of information that really has been a wonder to me my entire life. I grew up with two parents that really tried their best to explain everything to me. My mother always was open and tried to make sure that I learned anything that I was curious about. This was all fine and dandy for the household, but unfortunately she was the only one that thought that way. Whenever I went to my grandma's house and a nude scene or topless lady was on TV, my grandmother tended to cover my eyes with her hands as it was being showed. This of course only made me angry and even more curious. What was so sacred about a naked women that I couldn't know about.

Soon later I started seeing other people and going to school, and that, I have to admit, was when I became afraid to even talk about it. I remember so well, I was in class and if anyone in the school even mentioned a sexual organ, you were suspended. No question! So naturally I figured stay away from it. I was punished many times for even bringing it up.

So, I went to my parents again. My father being a man was embarrassed; a definite double standard. He wanted me to grow up as a bachelor and never worry about girls. Asking him stuff was pointless. His answer was always "It's normal". My mother tried again, but I never truly was shown an answer, always told. So of course what does one do when he wants to know something? He goes online and googles it. Of course I found more porn than anything, and began thinking that, that was the way of life. No one bothered telling me or rather showing me what I was supposed to know. It was always in theory or possibly not told to me at all.

I am a prime result of what will happen if you don't tell your children the plain and simple truth. It starts as curiosity, becomes jealousy, and leads to hate and pain.

I hope this story helps in someway, because I vowed never to let my children go through what I did.

Nick


Dear Ladies,
I believe (as male) that however you are shaped there, this is not the most important. The most important is you: the person. When I decided to ask my girl for marriage, it was not because of her boob size, it was simply love with the person. The rest was a bonus and still remains like that, meanwhile two children further she has grown some fat and has increased breast size. I'm more for the smaller breast size, but as expained before, when the woman I love has a different size, it is OK, even better than OK, because she is the one I love.

I don't know if this comment helps, but would like to add: when you have a friend that makes a problem about your breast size, you might ask yourself the question whether it really is a friend? Furthermore, do not care about what other "will" think. Probably they will not think what you think they would think (sorry when it becomes a bit complicated), just be yourself and show that: you will glow always!

Dirk, from Belgium.

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My breasts are a 36D. Up until this past summer I didn't like my breasts. I went to the spa where women can be topless. A friend of mine saw my breasts and made a comment that I had nice breasts and she couldnt believe they looked so firm at 48.

beth


Yes, I agree with everything you state about making breasts taboo, etc. and I found that going to a nudist family beach really does train the mind to view the whole body as a perfectly natural thing, where men, women, and children are at ease with their and others' bodies. It can be a very healing experience after the initial discomfort of exposing one's own body for the first time.

Lin


Hi, I was one of the many coming across the site by accident. I feel that there is a lot of truth to what you are saying, especially in the respect the society's attitude towards breasts is mildly ignorant. Also, it joys me to see something being done about the comparing game, and making women realize how beautiful they are. However, (and this is just my personal opinion) I could do without such a negative attitude towards "Western" culture. I understand that you have a very good point, and it would definitely have that kind of freedom here in the US, but that kind of a change is many years away. Other than that, I really enjoyed the website, and hope that more people come to realize that breasts are just fat and mammary glands, not sexual fantasy prompts, and (for women) that their breasts are beautiful no matter shape size or color.
Thanks again!
Christine


Thank you for the article and for all comments. I agree, the idea that woman's breasts are oversexualized in our culture is terrible. As a woman I feel under the strong pressure that my breasts should be attractive, big and pert at the same time, which is actually rare.
I sense this boobs-obsession get inside my mind, and makes me concentrate not only on my own ones but also on other women's breasts, I stare at them, compare to mine, judge. I feel that's absurd, but it's so hard to vanquish the idea that woman IS breasts and not a human being.

Lulu


I am very impressed with the attention given to small breasts on this website. When I was younger I was more impressed with large breasts, but when I met the woman who became my wife, I fell in love with everything about her, including her very very small breasts. It was the first time that I had been with a woman with small breasts and I was very impressed with how "beautiful" and firm they are. Actually I have learned to love and to prefer woman with small breasts. Size does not matter and I really don't understand why a woman would get implants. Just like some people prefer blonds or brunettes, some people (such as me) prefer small breasts. Breast size does not make you a "woman." Lastly, her small breasts are the most beautiful breasts that I have ever seen. If you have small breasts don't ruin them with surgery / fake boobs! Save your money and be confident!

Rick


Your page is so informative. I am a 24-year old girl and always imagined of having larger breasts, but now I feel different. Thanks to your article.

Jyo


My second comment on this site, now discussing breasts in general. Confidence is something you can learn from early age, especially body confidence. The most horrible examples of the contrary, is when parents (mothers esp.) encourage their daughters to enhance their breasts, even pay for it. I live in Norway, and girls 18 and younger have breast enhancement (silicone) to be "normal", and fit in among their peers. Being students, of course their parents pay for it. It's terrible! Instead of teaching them how to accept their bodies and appreciate it, they model their children into some image of perfection. This is a message to all parents with teenage daughters: If your daughter has small or large breasts, and feel insecure about them, show her this website and discuss the topic until you have changed her mind. B.r. Mette


Wow! thank you so much for this site. I have 2 grown sons, both of whom were breastfed. I have always thought, "As long as they (breasts) work, then that is what matters." I feel for young girls today having to view all of the misogynist images of women that are plastered everywhere. I am now in my 50's and I don't watch TV or go to movies anymore because I can't stand looking big fake breasts in my face. The camera shots of women in many movies show her with no head, just breasts. It is insulting and humiliating! I hope girls and women will find your site. I plan to sent this to every one I know, again Thank You!

Deborah


Hi, I'm 17 from Canada. I've grown up without a mother figure in my life, so I never got to see what breasts look like apart from TV and movies until I developed my own. I really like reading about breastfeeding and the sickness the media has spread about breasts. Even though I'm young, I still want to learn about my body and the things that could happen when I get older. I want to thank you for all the information on this website and I think now I have a different perspective about my own breasts. I've always thought I was a freak of nature because I have one breast that is less than a B-cup and one that is almost bigger than a C-cup. For a while I was even worried that I had breast cancer because of the different sizes. I live with my dad and my brothers and I can't ask them questions about these kinds of things (for obvious reasons), and I used to never leave my room without a bra on, but now even if I don't feel comfortable without a bra on when I go outside, I think now I can be at least more comfortable in my own home, and if my family tells me it's gross or indecent, I can tell them the things I learned on this website! I'm going to show this website to all my friends (even the boys) and I hope that more people come to see breasts as the miraculous things they are and not for sexual gratification, so thank you and keep educating others <3 Let's make this a world-wide revolution!

Jessica


Thank you so much. I sometimes get very sensitive about my small breasts. (32a) Even though they're just joking, my friends pick on them. It hurts very much. I cannot help the fact I'm so small. Seeing other girls with small breasts that aren't photoshopped or enhanced was actually comforting. I was actually crying. I was so happy to realize that I'm not "ugly". I am healthy and beautiful. I have something that will help me to raise my future children. I can create life and sustain it. Once again, THANK YOU! :')

Rachel


I'm a 28-year old woman from Finland and it was really nice to see a website that has a non-sexual and natural way of seeing breasts.

In Finland things are a bit different because of our cultural traditions. In our culture people have for hundreds of years had the tradition of going to sauna. For those who don't know what sauna means or what it means for Finns, it is a room that is heated for very hot temperature and where people go to relax and sweat away their stress. Families all over Finland use sauna often weekly and usually families go there naked. In many families children can see their parents' bodies in natural and non-sexual way and also see what happens to their bodies when they grow older. It's absolutely normal in here, that families go to sauna together until the puberty of the children. And I want to underline, that even though women, men and children go to sauna together, there is nothing sexual about it. Nudity in family is often considered natural in Finland. This doesn't mean that we hang around naked all the time, but the attitudes towards nudity are perhaps more natural in Finland than in some countries.

That also means that girls and boys have often seen natural breasts and usually know what breasts are for. The attitudes towards public breastfeeding are unfortunately getting more and more unapproving, but it's still considered quite a natural thing to do (as it should be, in my opinion). What is worrying is that even though natural breasts are not a taboo for Finnish people, the development has been that young girls and women are very self-concious about their breasts, because of the images that they get from media and pornography.

For myself, I can say that I learned to accept my own body and especially my breasts when I met my fiance, who loves natural breasts and can't understand the media hype for unnatural and "plastic" breasts. For that, I'm really grateful because I have suffered for low self-esteem for most of my life. I'm also happy that I had the chance to grow up in an environment and culture, where nudity isn't overly sexualised.

Salla


There are a lot of men that don't think twice about going to see strippers but once a woman pulls out a breast to feed her baby are totally disgusted by the sight and think they should go to a restroom to breast feed. I can't imagine telling someone to take their meal into a public restroom. I'm a J cup and can't even consider going in public without a bra, but I have noticed that men treat you like you asked for large breasts and deserve to be stared at. I have actually been asked why I don't show them off. I believe that ignorance leads to breast augmentation.

Betty


Thank you for this site. I was always into breastfeeding and fed my son up to 5 years and sometimes as comfort when he was ill. I started to feel uncomfortable later if he instinctively touched them for security, even though he no longer nursed, as I realise I started to let society in and was indeed worried I would make him strange or deviant. I think I can relax now and allow him his comfort, cuddles, and security, and remember our beautiful bond.

cha


Hi! I JUST came across your site today and I'm VERY happy I did! I'm rather young (22), but have seen how media and men/boys are about breasts and realize how a lot of girls feel 'inadequate'. You should really try and get this site into every middle school in America in a fight against the way media represents breasts and to help girls perceive themselves as beautiful no matter how their breasts are.

Bonnetta Gregory


I think this website is brilliant and people should be wearing t-shirts promoting it.

Not only does it help men relax a little in regards to their sexual attitude to women but it helps women relax in their attitude to themselves.

Most importantly it helps men and women BETTER INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER! It helps our relationships, women are more open and relaxed about their bodies and men are less aroused and more appreciative. I still want more pictures of male genitalia in the media also, it may seem a perverted thing to say but it would help both genders to be more open to displays of 'normal' (not airbrushed) nude bodies.

It is worrying that not only are men being programmed to find these media images of women/breasts arousing but women are too (hence all the worry over their breasts) - I have been programmed to find women attractive and it's taken me a long time to find my husband's body arousing when I know I find him attractive (women are often taught that men are ugly and women are beautiful). It isn't just about breasts, the media is a big problem, it makes us ashamed of who we are, programs us to find certain things attractive and we lose a part of who we are.

Keep the comments from men coming in, I love reading their point of view!

Sandra


I love this website it is educative and informative. I am 22yrs old, have big boobs. Initially, when I was growing up, I used to be ashamed because of the size. I even wore two bras at a time. Later, a large lump was removed from my breast at the age of 19 and my breast is still in good shape. Men should try not to look at the breast object of sex. Ladies, be proud of your boobs no matter how it is.

Glo


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